Another update to what I said !!!!!

So what brings me back with another update. You ask. Here goes.

I got a phone call this am from Access Communications, what was it regarding, a job you may say, well it was for her to call me and say we are not gonna hire you at this time as we have one another recipient for the position. Yup turned down YET again by a company I really wanted to work for, Yup my friends thats two companies I wanted to work for, but turned down from both for the same reasons. Why didn't I get the job you ask, maybe I ain't good enough, maybe I don't have the right skills or enough experience in that matter. Who knows. I sure don't anymore.

So what am I gonna do now you ask. Absolutely nothing, as I have tried and tried and tried to obtain a job to where I wanted to work, something that I would enjoy doing, and now I don't even try anymore, As I get my hopes up and get excited, I start to plan things, and I get shot down time after time. Back to the bottom of the rubbish pile.

It just doesn't seem to be going in my favor. Always. Maybe its not meant to be, maybe nothing is meant to be, quite frankly I don't even know anymore.

Maybe we aren't suppose to be together, Quite frankly I'm not sure. As I keep trying to obtain a good paying job so we can work it all out and she can move here in march, but at this rate I don't have a job, and can't even find one, so where does that leave us, I'm not sure. I just wanted it all to work out, and it keeps kicking my square in the ass. Maybe it is time to give up.

Maybe they were right, maybe she should go to Bible school, I don't know. As the more we fight towards what we want, it seems to me the more we get our asses kicked.

So what am I gonna do you ask about all of this. I honestly don't know. I wanna keep trying on one side but the other side says can you win, can you accomplish it. I'm really beginning to wonder.

Is there anymore jobs in the city that I like, that I wanna work at, well for IT work there isn't anything else, possibly a bank, but I don't wanna have to have a job that I hate. Maybe if it all comes down to it, back to laboring it is, or construction, maybe I'm not cut out for any work in the IT field, maybe I'm not smart enough. I don't know.

But by what I see laboring work is what I will be doing. Sure its hard work and lifting, but I guess thats's all I can seem to get these days.

As for school, I will continue to do my schooling, where will it take me, what will it get me, Will it land me my dream career. Who knows, Cause I sure can't say.

Peace Out,


Justin