Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Lost in a world of confusion !!!!!!

So as this day passes. I ask mysef. What is wrong with me? Is there a problem?

To answer the first, is there something wrong with me, quite frankly Im not even sure myself what is wrong with me. Random outrages at people, arguements over nothing, I don't know, thats just how I am I guess.

One moment I can be the greatest guy and the next be a total asshole. A jerk. Disrespectful, rude, and countless other things.

To answer the second, is there a problem, Im not sure either, there could be or there couldnt be. Random outrages at people built up by anger, arguments over nothing, being disrespectful to people, inconsiderate, rude, sarcastic and the list goes on.

Thats who I am as a person, I have always been that way, never knew any other way.

Sometimes I am sad for no reason, or just feel blah days without anything bad happening, other days it is caused by obnoxious people.

I go from one extreme to another in a short period of time, why you may ask, Im not quite sure myself.

I know this all is total random, as I am a random person, one minute a nice guy the next a real jerk.

I know I have hurt alot of people, saying rude things, making sarcastic comments, taking my anger out on them for no reason. And I am greatly sorry for that. I do ask for forgivance for all the bullshit I have caused. Thats if the other parties can forgive me, if they cannot thats life right. Probably because I don't deserve it.

I know I speak my mind often, and I do get really bad tempers. And what happens when I do, I outrage at people, yell at people, and become a real jerk.

It could be also to, I get my hopes up with alot of things and then it comes back and kicks me in the ass, cause what I had my hopes up for suddenly falls away. And I take that to heart, and it builds up in me until I unleash it and everybody gets beat up on from me.

Im not quite sure if this is all of what I feel or not, but its a start.


A start to what, you may ask?


Actually ( Its a cry for help )

I need it, lots of it, As at times I can say, IM LOST and looking for a way to find myself.

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