Has there ever been a time when you just feel like calling it quits, on everything.
But you realize to yourself, that the person you would be walking out on would be the one you love, the one that has helped you tremendously through everything you have went through for the last year. The one who sees you as a role model. As someone they look up to.
How many others are the same as that person and look up to you. Then what happens.
I just don't know what to do anymore. Snow on the ground and cold, can't even go for a bike ride or rollerblade and vent, no job, no school, your love on the other side of the country. It just all seems so hopeless at times.
Its saddening how my mood changes every minute. One minute Im cheery and happy the next Im a real jerk, a real asshole. And don't tell me Im not cause I am, I tend to hurt more people then anything. I know its not fair for them to be treated the way I treat them, maybe the best is to let it be and leave them alone I don't know.
Maybe I need to be put in a padded room or something, or maybe its stress from not working, no school, not to sure which it may be.
Who knows what the new year will bring, we shall find out.
Signed off
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